Finding balance

Author's note: I found this post on an old thumb drive. It was probably written in 2011. I don't believe it was published, but since I haven't kept good track of posts that I wrote for other blogs, I can't be completely sure.

Before I became pregnant, I used to wake up at five o’clock every morning and blissfully practice yoga for forty-five minutes. I relished the silence, the calm, the feeling of being alone with my True self. After having a baby, my routine went out the window and I have learned to take my yoga-induced bliss where I can find it. 

As a new mother I struggled to find the time and space to practice yoga. I received a lot of advice about how it was essential to take “me time,” and if I didn’t, it was tantamount to mama failure. But as a mother who works full-time, outside the home, and is away from her baby for ten hours a day, my heart told me that I could not sacrifice time with my son for “me time.” On the other hand, I was feeling stressed and exhausted, and I wasn’t able to fully enjoy the time I did have with my son.

I knew I couldn’t give up time with my son, and I knew I had to find time to practice yoga. It took me a few months, but I finally found a way to make it work. The key was acknowledging how important yoga is to me, and being flexible enough to practice yoga outside the comfort zone of my usual morning routine.

Here are a few tips that helped me start and maintain a home yoga practice.  If you are looking for a way to begin, they may help you as well.

• Decide if yoga is truly a priority. Do you believe yoga will help you create balance in your life? If so, why? Be honest with yourself. Parents have precious little “me time.” If you can only do one or two things a day (or a week) that will help you create balance, is yoga it?
•  If so, make a commitment to practicing yoga several times per week. This might mean cutting out other activities that do not rise to the top of the priority list. I only have two “me time” items on my list: yoga and walking the dog. I have made a commitment to myself and to my son to practice yoga because it helps me achieve balance, which in turn helps me be a fully-present mama. I take this promise seriously. Every time I start talking myself out of practicing yoga (which occurs nightly), I think back to this promise. Is my reason for not practicing yoga good enough for me to go back on my word? (If the answer is truly yes, say because I am utterly exhausted, then I forgo yoga practice for the night.)
• Practice yoga that makes you feel good. I used to practice yoga by following a video and I wouldn’t do it unless I had a minimum of thirty minutes, so that I could complete the entire video. If I had remained wedded to that rubric after my son was born, I would get to practice yoga about once a month. These days, I practice yoga for the amount of time that I have. If I only have ten minutes, then I practice yoga for ten minutes. In the past I would have thought a ten minute yoga practice wasn’t worth the bother. Today as a mama, I know that it is not only worth it, but it IS my yoga bliss. Furthermore, instead of following a video, I follow my heart. I practice poses that feel good, work out the stress of the day and help me feel present and centered. 
• Be flexible. Life as a parent is nothing if not unpredictable. But once you have made the commitment and you know what feels good, you have the tools you need to maintain a regular home yoga practice, even during the most chaotic times. It doesn’t matter if you practice in the morning or in the evening, for five minutes or an hour, indoors or out. What matters is that you are striving for and some days, even achieving, balance through a home yoga practice. 

Namaste.

Well, could you please be nice?

We have a morning routine. If not already awake, I get the kids up at 7am. Josias climbs in bed with me and Shiloh. We talk, sing, cuddle, and rip toys out of each others' hands for about fifteen minutes.

Since he no longer sleeps with us, I have implemented this "in bed" time to reconnect with Josias before the demands of the day begin (because along with those demands come some of the challenging behaviors that Josias and I struggle with). Also, I enjoy hugging and kissing my babies.

This strategy has been somewhat successful in preventing morning meltdowns, which tend to throw us off schedule. And keep on schedule we must, in order to get to school before breakfast is gone, as that would cause yet another meltdown. Our 7am wake up time gives us a full hour to get dressed, eat breakfast, and head out the door. It should be enough, but something inevitably waylays us.

Like today, for instance. We started out ahead of schedule. Eggs and toast had been prepared and consumed, cleared and cleaned. We had plenty of time to get dressed, so the kids were playing while I did some laundry. Great!

Then, outta nowhere, it was time to go. How does this happen? A problem with the time-space continuum? So, I began barking orders at Josias, telling him to get dressed. He continued to play. I "helped" him take off his jammies and asked him to put on his school clothes. He continued to play. Naked.

After about 10 minutes, I'd had it. I told him that if he didn't get dressed, Shiloh and I would wait for him in the car (not cool, and not true). He then discovered that he couldn't find his underwear. You mean the underwear I placed on the the couch 10 minutes ago and asked you to put on? Uh-huh, yes. Those underwear.

In a loud voice, I launched into a lecture about how if he had gotten dressed when I asked, this kind of thing wouldn't happen. The lecture went on for many moments longer than it should have. When I finally stopped, Josias looked up at me and with total sincerity asked, "Well, could you please be nice?"

This should have elicited not only an "aww" from me, but also a step back from what I was doing to take a deep breath and realize that nothing in this scene was an emergency and yes, I should be nice. Firm, but still kind. Always kind.

At that point, however, I had let my frustration get the best of me and my response was, "No! I cannot be nice. I asked you to get dressed many times and now you've lost your underwear!" It did not seem ridiculous when I said it.

I then left the room and recognized the idiocy of my statement and my attitude. It took me about 3 minutes until I was able to go back and say, "I'm sorry, Josias. You are right. Mama should be nice. I'm sorry for the way I spoke to you."

But then, I had to add, "I was frustrated," as if that was an excuse. Josias wasn't accepting excuses, however. He came back with, "Well you should still be nice. You could go like this - he proceeded to make exaggerated breathing noises, inhaling and exhaling several times - to calm down."

He had me there. Yes, I should always be nice. When I'm frustrated, I should calm down before I speak loudly, meanly or angrily. I should always be nice. When I am not nice, I should own up to my behavior and apologize, without qualifications. When I finally said this to Josias, he smiled, we found his underwear and he got dressed.

Later, as I debriefed this episode in my mind, three things struck me:

• Not getting dressed was age-appropriate behavior and was not a big deal. I'd do well to remember that the next time it happens, which, in all likelihood, will be tomorrow.
• I didn't like how I handled the situation and felt that I was modeling behaviors that I did not want to see in Josias. But, what I also modeled, is that everyone, including Mama, gets frustrated and angry. No one is perfect and no matter how much yoga we do, we all lose our cool sometimes. If and when that happens, try to make it right.
• Most importantly I realized that through our day-to-day interactions, I have supported Josias' understanding of what is and what isn't helpful, supportive, and NICE behavior. And, when someone is treating him in a way that doesn't feel good, he can clearly communicate how it feels and what he wants. 

That's not bad for a three and a half year old. So, what I came away with is that sometimes, even if this morning didn't seem like one of those times, I must be doing something right.

Now, if only Josias could internalize the idea that HE should always be nice.

Much Respect

I went out to dinner the other night with my two kids. A three and a half year old and a one year old waiting to be fed, in a pent-up environment where they are allowed to touch exactly nothing, is not a stress-free affair. Especially if you happen to be the waitstaff.

Why put yourself and other diners through it then, you ask? Ah, my friend, I've got a secret weapon, affectionately known as boobies, in my house. They rapidly bring peace to nearly any explosive situation.

The wee ones were getting antsy, copious amounts of water, sugar and salt had been spilled, and the youngest was crying. He needed his milky. Almost four years into my breastfeeding career, I don't give a second thought to breastfeeding in public.

I've breastfed nearly everywhere I've ever been (I wrote about my first time breastfeeding in public here).

A number of mama websites and blogs I frequent often talk about the need to normalize breastfeeding by doing it in public. I'm not talking about being showy, just feeding the babes when and where they are hungry. Everyday, across the country, women are harassed, shamed, ridiculed and ostracized for feeding their babies in the most natural and healthy way known to humans.

This has never happened to me. I don't usually worry about it. In fact, I've had several instances where strangers have actually supported my breastfeeding in public (my favorite instance is described here).

Every once in a while though, especially if I'm in a new place, and there aren't many kids and by extension parents, around, it crosses my mind that someone might say something to me about breastfeeding in public.

Well, it happened the other night at dinner. As the baby fussed, I began to feed him. The couple sitting at the next table, who were obviously on a date, glanced in my direction. Their faces told me something was up. I thought, "Great, here it comes." The man then reached out and lightly touched my arm. He said, and I quote, "Much respect." He went on to say that in his country women breastfeed in public all the time, but he doesn't see women doing it here in the US. "Why?" he asked, "Is it because there are so many hangups with women's bodies?" He might be on to something.

This was too good not to share. Thank you to everyone out there supporting all mothers feeding their babies. And, to all the mamas who nourish their babies' bodies and souls everyday, however they feed them: Much respect.

Has a stranger ever made a comment to you as you fed your baby?

Photo credit: author

Don't cry!

Will you do some guided imagery with me for a moment? Come on, just play along. Please? Okay, close your eyes and imagine you just had an awful day at work {insert some relevant scenario here}. You go out to your car and it doesn't start! You left some minuscule interior light on and the battery is dead. To top it all off, you left your cell phone God knows where, so you can't call anyone for help. A stranger appears who offers to give you a jump start, so you make it home, albeit an hour late. Now, dinner must be made, while the kids fuss and ask umpteen times for some ridiculous thing.

You may open your eyes now. How are you feeling? Can we all agree that you might just be on the verge of a meltdown, which may or may not involve crying? Now imagine, your spouse/loved one/best friend/family member, or even the helpful stranger from the parking lot walks in the door and finds you in a heap. You begin to feel hopeful that this living nightmare is about to end and that you will get the love and support you need. But, nope. His/her response is to bark, "Don't cry!"in a most unhelpful tone.

Now, you feel better, right? And, you stop crying immediately, cuz ya feel so dang good!

My son started preschool last week. It's a public elementary school in which instruction takes place in two languages. There are over four hundred children in the building. Many of the preschoolers only understand one of the languages being spoken. For some, it is their first time away from their parents and/or caregivers.

During the first week of school, some of the children were having a kid-version of the bad day we imagined above. Many had no idea what was going on, in whose care they were being left and when the hellishness would end. Some were crying. While it didn't surprise me, it did disappoint me, that almost every adult's reaction to the crying was to loudly order each and every child to "STOP CRYING!"

I'm not holier than thou. I have uttered these words. In this situation it was just so strikingly obvious and heart breaking how this is not the reaction a child needs when they are in distress.

I mean, think about it. Leaving out empathy, meeting a child's needs and the like as reasons not to respond in this fashion, what is the success rate of this strategy? I offer that unless the child who is crying is very scared of the adult who issues the order to stop (which is fodder for another post), the success rate hovers close to nadir.

Why do we do it, then? I believe there are a number of reasons. One, is that is is painful and stressful for adults to hear children in distress, so we want it to stop. Now. Two, is that it can become annoying and get in the way of our agenda/time table. And three, we live in a culture where most adults expect instant compliance with their orders, no matter how unfeasible.

The same logic applies to a child who is crying because he is hurt. Can you imagine if you were in pain from an injury and someone said to you, "That didn't hurt. You're alright. You don't need to cry."  Just because we don't think something SHOULD hurt, doesn't mean it doesn't hurt the child, or that she doesn't feel the need for some love and attention. I would seriously dislike anyone who tried to tell me I was alright, when I didn't feel alright, or what did or did not hurt my body or my soul.

Next time you (or I) have the urge to say, "Don't cry!" or "Stop crying!" or "You're alright!" I suggest we think about what might actually be helpful to the child (such as asking if he is alright, a hug, giving information about what is happening, just spending time with and staying close to the child). Although these things may take a bit longer, I think we'll find they have a much higher success rate for making the crying stop. In addition, they will help her feel loved, safe and able to tackle more challenges that lay ahead.

How do you help a crying child?

Photo credit: Binu Kumar

Sick of cleaning the bathroom

I have been cleaning bathrooms for a long time. As a kid, it used to be one of my weekly chores. I hated it. As an adult, well, if I wanted a clean bathroom (which I desperately did), I needed to clean it. Still, I hated it. 

I live in a small house with a bath and a half. They're tiny. It literally takes me 15 minutes total to clean both. So, what was the big wup? One day as I sat around for the zillionth time analyzing why I hated cleaning the bathroom so much, I had a revelation. 

It wasn't that I didn't like the physical act of cleaning, but cleaning the bathroom made me sick. Truly, ill. I'm not talking about sick in the head, either. I realized that I held my breath the whole time I cleaned the bathroom, and I always opened the window, regardless of the temperature outside. And, even with those accommodations I felt light-headed and dizzy when the deed was done.

It was the cleaning products!

Right around this time is when I started to become interested in living more simply and more naturally. Somehow, praise be, I stumbled upon a book called Organic Housekeeping by Ellen Sandbeck. It changed my life and may even prolong it.

Ms. Sandbeck explains in simple and succinct terms that the toxic cleaning products that most of us use everyday were making me sick. She goes on to suggest natural and efficient ways to clean the whole house. She describes using natural, ordinary household products - vinegar and baking soda are chief among them- to clean everything. She also lists the basic, multi-purpose tools she uses to get every job done.

I can't say that I now love cleaning the bathroom, but I no longer deplore it, and it definitely doesn't make me sick. 

Here's what I do:

• Vanity top - spray white vinegar and wipe down with a clean rag
• Sink bowl - sprinkle with Bon Ami cleanser or baking soda and scrub with a clean rag
• Toilet surfaces - spray with white vinegar and wipe down with a clean rag
• Toilet bowl - pour vinegar in the toilet bowl before I start cleaning the bathroom, let it sit for about ten minutes while I clean the rest of the bathroom , and use a toilet brush to clean
• Bathtub - sprinkle with Bon Ami cleanser or baking soda and scrub with a clean rag
• Floor - sweep with broom or vacuum, spray with white vinegar and wipe down with clean rag
• Mirror - spray white vinegar and wipe down with newspaper or a clean rag (if the mirror was previously cleaned with commercial glass cleaner, there will be a build-up that vinegar alone won't remove, so for the first cleaning you must add a little castile soap to your rag, after that vinegar alone will do the trick)
• Put all the rags in the dirty laundry to be washed and used for next week's bathroom cleaning

Another pearl of wisdom in the book is what I think of as cleaning prevention. Basically, she suggests keeping your house clean and tidy as a rule, and then when cleaning day arrives, it's a breeze.  In essence, if you keep things tidy and clean up spills, etc. as they happen, your house doesn't have a chance to get really dirty.

Why not give natural cleaning a try? It's good for your health, good for the environment and it keeps a little more jingle in your pocket.

Do you have any tips for cleaning naturally?

Photo credits: Backdoor Survival, Elycefeliz

Blogging unleashes creative potential

When I started blogging, I didn't have a clue what I was doing. I'm not known for my tech savvy. I had never written much, outside of school and work assignments.

For ages, though, I'd have ideas floating around in my head that I wanted to write about. I wanted to get them out, or sometimes it felt like they wanted to get out of me. I possess not an iota of talent when it comes to drawing, painting, singing, sewing, or the like. So, it seems writing is my creative outlet.

Off and on over the years, I tried journaling. For whatever reason, it just never took. A notion would strike me, but by the time I got the physical pen to paper, the idea had evaporated, or I had lost my drive to get it down. I would often feel like I had let an opportunity pass me by.

With blogging, it's different. I can't say why. When an idea pops up in my head, I rarely forget it and can't wait to get to the ol' keyboard and start pounding away. I get excited about the writing process, setting up the layout, finding photos, and editing.

I don't have a massive readership - mostly just my mother. What's tremendous is, it makes no difference to me. Even though I put stuff out there in a public forum and I enjoy getting comments and having a dialogue on the things I write about, I blog for myself.

I don't have to conform to rules, or make sure that my writing is the latest, greatest thing to enter the blogosphere. I write what feels good to me, and I love it.

I'm probably a better writer than the average Joe/Josie on the street, but, let's be realistic, Toni Morrison, I am not. I doubt I'll ever get a paycheck for my writing. I'm just happy that I finally found a way to be creative, a space in which to do it, and in a medium that works for me. 

Who knows what opening the creative flood gates will lead to? As yoga has taught me, human potential in general, and mine in specific is boundless.

What is your creative outlet?

Photo credits: Mike Litch, Salendron

A terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day

Have you read the children's book, Alexander and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day? Poor Alexander, everything imaginable goes wrong, nobody will listen to him, and nobody wants to help him. Yeah, well, last Saturday, we had one of those on Oakdale Place.

During the week, I'm home alone with Shiloh. Since I quit my job a few weeks ago, Josias has continued to go to daycare, before we are off on our summer holiday. So, I still haven't quite mastered the art of making the weekend run smoothly with two kids under three in the house.  I mean, truly, IS there a way for one woman to manage the naps of an infant when there is also a rambunctious preschooler in the house? 

The morning started at 5am when the baby woke and wouldn't go back to sleep. Although his squeals were of delight, they woke Josias. The day beginning an hour and a half before Mama would like can only lead to heartache.

Lately these early wakings, which vacillate in cause between Josias and Shiloh, have been making for a sleep deprived and VERY cranky Josias. Some mornings are nothing but crying. Crying to get his way, and when said way is given, crying because it was. Um, okay? That's the illogical thought process and emotional roller coaster that is a three year old.

Right, so breakfast didn't go terribly well. Next, we hop in the car, and as Josias says, "drive around in circles (accompanied by corresponding circular motion of the hand)," so Shiloh has a prayer at some semblance of a morning nap. It actually worked. Josias read his Curious George tome and Shiloh slept for forty-five minutes. Not too shabby, if I do say so myself. I was feeling pretty skilled in the mothering department.

But then, perhaps due to cockiness, it all went to H-E-double hockey sticks in a hand basket. It just fell apart. Josias wailed about everything; did everything I expressly asked him not to do; and pooped without a diaper on, which not only involves cleaning him, throwing away clothes and cleaning the floor and shoes, it also involves a lot of - you guessed it - crying.

In essence, Josias was doing everything a three year old is supposed to do. Especially in light of the fact that Mama was not paying him enough attention because little brother was teething and needed to breastfeed a lot.

It probably goes without saying that afternoon naps where a disaster. By this point, Mama was at the end of her little rope and was racking up charges of conduct not becoming an Attached Parent.

We were miserable. I knew I had to do something. If I only knew what. What to do, what to do? 

Going back to the book, Alexander is not much help. His day just keeps getting worse, and when he asks friends for help, they ignore him or make fun of him. I had pretty much used up those strategies already. 

By the end of the book, Alexander goes to his mother for comfort. She tells him that some days are just like that and hopefully, tomorrow will be better. Truer words were never said, but I am nothing if not tenacious, so I wasn't ready to give up.

What to do, what to do? By George, I've got it! GO OUTSIDE!

Although the getting ready process took at least five times longer than it should have, with Mama barking out demands in a disrespectful manner that were summarily ignored by Josias, we got there.

We arrived at the park with water sprinklers and Josias blossomed into the curious, funny and awesome guy that he is. Shiloh was as sweet as ever. Mama even displayed a few of her finer moments.

We did it!  We flipped the script on our terrible, horrible, awful, no good, very bad day.  Alexander and his mama could learn a thing or two from us!

Next time I see us going down this path, I will employ the back to nature strategy before 4pm.  Who knows if it will work, but we're gonna give it a shot.

Postscript: As I reread this post, I realized that the strategy was far less important than the fact that I didn't give up, no matter how late in the day. And what I also know, is that I have my mom and dad to thank for that.

What do you do to turn around a bad day?

Photo credit:s Jessica Wilson and author

Transitioning to a natural lifestyle

Earth Mama Yoga is excited to introduce guest blogger, Katie Moore.  You can find her over at Moore from Katie. Please check out her post and let us know what you think.

There is nothing as awe-inspiring as creating new life. At least, that’s how I felt when carrying my first child. So I really felt like I needed to take special care of my baby and myself during my pregnancy. Transitioning to natural living seemed like the best thing I could do and so my journey began. From diet and exercise to cleaners and clothing, everything slowly changed.

We live in a world that is bombarded by information. Weeding through all of the information to find what is best for you may seem daunting, but let me tell you what has worked for my growing family. It did not mean changing everything at once, nor did it mean throwing out everything I had and buying new, expensive natural products. I started at my doctor’s office. My doctor was my greatest resource during my pregnancy; every option from cloth diapers to my baby’s cord blood was covered and allowed me to decide what’s best for my family.

Natural living does not need to be expensive. Organic produce and other natural products are more widely available today. The prices are coming down and good sales are more frequent now than ever before, as demand rises. There are many co-ops for natural products including food, clothing and other baby essentials. Homemade cleaning solutions are almost always less expensive than their commercial counterparts.

Transitioning to a Better Diet

I began by incorporating more natural foods into my diet. By natural foods I mean fresh fruits and vegetables, whole grains, and natural sugars. Fresh fruits and vegetables contain higher levels of nutrients than their canned, processed counter parts. They also help to alleviate some of the common side effects of pregnancy, such as constipation. As finances allowed, I purchased organic produce, local cheese, honey and free-range eggs. Carrying a copy of the clean 15 and the dirty dozen will help you organize your produce list to avoid the most contaminants. These contaminants are harmful enough to our bodies, let alone our growing babies.

Buying fresh produce and organic products is good, but you have to use them too! I rearranged my pantry to reflect how I wanted to eat by placing processed foods on the lowest shelf and natural ingredients at eye level.  Tight grocery budgets may make you cringe at the thought of wasting food, so don’t. Use your processed foods up a bit at a time, donate them to a food pantry or use them to serve an ailing friend or neighbor. Creating a meal plan based around the family’s schedule helped me incorporate natural foods into our diet while cutting out the stress of what’s for dinner after a full day of activities.

Preparing a Clean Environment for Baby

Your surrounding environment plays a huge role in how you feel and your overall health. There are many factors to consider when evaluating your surrounding environment. What you wear, personal hygiene products, cleaners, even scented candles in your home could affect your health. Fortunately there are many safe, natural alternatives to all of the above.

Organic clothing is widely available now. I choose organic clothing for those pieces worn closest to the skin. Bedding and blankets are also a wise purchase for those looking to reduce their exposure to the chemicals found in clothing. How we clean our clothes matters, too. Sure commercial detergents smell good, but all we really smell are the chemicals that we are then putting next to our skin. Finding an alternative to laundry detergent was high on my priority list.

Many manufacturers are offering natural versions of their most popular products, like household cleaners and beauty products. Oftentimes a homemade solution is just as effective and 100 percent natural. From all-purpose cleaners, to facial cleansers and deodorants, recipes abound for those interested in all-natural household products made at home from common ingredients. Sometimes it is a single ingredient, such as vinegar, that can replace several commercially prepared cleaners. I have found vinegar to be just as effective as my previously purchased cleaners and less expensive too.

With these easy adjustments to your lifestyle, you will be doing your baby and yourself a huge favor by feeling better and growing your baby in a great environment. Even after my pregnancy, my husband and I kept our new natural habits up to raise our daughter in the best environment possible.

 

Katie Moore has written and submitted this article. Katie is an active blogger who discusses the topics of, motherhood, children, fitness, health and all other things Mommy. She enjoys writing, blogging, and meeting new people! To connect with Katie contact her via her blog, Moore From Katie or her twitter, @moorekm26

Photo credit: Ossi Petruska

 

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Serenity Prayer

I was talking with a friend the other day, and she told me that she is struggling to get certain parts of her life under control. She has just joined a support group that employs the twelve steps. She went on to say that while she knows she needs the help and support of the group, the Serenity Prayer, which opens the meetings, is a stumbling block for her. The wording just doesn't feel right.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Her sentiments resonated with me. Last year was one of the most stressful of my life. In addition to the joy of having a baby, I was going through some intensely painful personal issues. One thing that I found helpful was the Serenity Prayer. Not just saying it, which I did over and over, but really understanding its meaning and trying to live it.

I, too, struggled with the wording of the prayer. It's not that I don't believe in God, although by my way of thinking, It's the Divine, or the Universe. The part of the prayer I take issue with, is asking a higher power to grant me a favor, if you will. I believe the power is already within me, and with this prayer, I am both acknowledging that and asking the Universe to help me muster the strength to use it.

The concept of the prayer really helped. So, I decided on this, albeit cumbersome, personal wording:

I ask the Universe to support me in calling forth my own power for the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Now, some might think: that's a lot of new-age mumbo jumbo, or, that my wording is just semantics. That's okay. What I think, is that it genuinely means something to me, and that is:

#1 I can only do me. I have the power to decide to be the best me I can. That is not easy, nor it is necessarily going to get me everything I want. It is a heck of a lot, though. 

#2 No matter how much I want something to happen, or someone to change, it is not within my power to make it so. I have no control over what other people do, nor can I control the actions and beliefs of others.

#3 is the kicker: whenever I feel stressed, angry, disappointed, sad, etc. it helps to think about the points above and reassess how I approach any given situation and what I hope to get out of it.

It serves me well to remember all of this. It helped me through a very difficult time. The prayer didn't make the situation better, nor did it take away the pain and sadness. What it did, is help me understand who I am, who I want to be, and that in the end, that is what is in my control. It gave me perspective.

Even though things did not turn out the way I had hoped, I am steadfast in my faith that things will turn out as they should.

If you're searching for some Yogic wisdom on this topic, these two Yoga Journal articles are a good place to start: Spiritual Surrender and The Practice of Surrender.

No matter what you call it - Serenity Prayer or Ishvara Pranidhana, it's all Yoga to me.

How has prayer helped you?

Photo credit: Robert Kiss

Today the adventure begins

The Lotus flower symbolizes new beginnings

Today marks a new beginning for me, and my family. I've just quit my full-time job of almost ten years. It's margaritas by the pool for me from here on out.

Well, no, not really. I'll be with my sweet babies. I have a three year old, Josias, and a seven month old, Shiloh. And, to be completely forthright, at times I find it a bit challenging to meet the physical needs of the baby, while simultaneously meeting the intellectual and emotional wishes of the preschooler.

So, that is how I have decided to frame this adventure. An exciting challenge! I've been gearing up by reflecting on all my own beliefs about motherhood as well as the advice and strategies of those who I think have a lot to offer on the subject. Each day, I'd like to make it my job, my challenge to put all of that into practice as best I can.

You see, I have a stubborn streak, so it can be a huge challenge for me to let go of my own agenda (the arbitrary parts, anyway) and be there for my kids in the ways that they need and want; to guide them and support them in a manner that will help them become the awesome human beings that we all have the potential to be. Oh yeah, and I'd like to enjoy the journey too. Pretty ambitious, hey?

Yoga has helped me get to this place. I've made a fundamental, somewhat scary, life-change in order to more fully be the person I want to be. So, now that I'm on my way, I'm relying on yoga to guide me along.

For starters, we'll spend a good part of the summer with friends and family in the natural beauty of the Finger Lakes region of New York State. Then, in the Fall, Josias will start his own adventure as he's off to preschool.

Actually, if the adventure begins today, Josias, Shiloh and I are off to the dentist for Josias' first visit. Challenge numero uno awaits! I hope you'll join me as (time permitting) I write about our journey on Earth Mama Yoga.

What guided you through a life-changing event or experience?

Photo credit:lezumbalaberenjena

My home water birth and the Divine

Time to have this baby

I was due on Monday. The Friday before, I decided I wouldn't be returning to work. I was HUGE and had fallen twice in one day. I took that as a sign that I wasn't meant to be out in the world any longer.

I left work a little early and when I got home, I started feeling a bit weird. I dunno, something was just off. I also felt something going on "down there." Could I feel myself dilating?

I got in bed for awhile and once Josias, my two and half year old, got home, I forgot about the feelings as I set about making dinner and whatnot. As we drifted off to sleep that night, some of the feelings were coming back and I started to think that tomorrow would be the day.  I slept well and awoke at 4 am with the same sensations, only this time they were coming and going in a pronounced manner. I knew labor was starting. Josias awoke at 5 am, as he is wont to do. Instead of being annoyed, which I sometimes get with his early risings, we snuggled and I savored the last morning I would have alone in bed with my big boy. We had such a beautiful time together in that hour. I will cherish the memory of that morning for the rest of my life.

Early labor
At 6 am I let Danny know that I was in labor, and we made a plan to keep Josias busy outside of the house. We had previously decided that Josias wouldn't do well with me in labor and that I needed space to do what I needed to do. Danny's brother happened to be around that day and Josias loves hanging out with him: the stars had aligned. A baby would be coming into the world and into our lives.

After Danny and Josias left, I started timing my contractions, which felt quite mild at that point.  They were lasting about 30 seconds and were one to two minutes apart. I made myself a hardy breakfast of toast, OJ and a feta cheese omelet and then I walked the dog. It was mid-November, but the day was sunny and warm. The contractions were increasing in intensity, but still what I would call mild.

Call the Midwife
At 7:30 am I called Mairi, my midwife, to let her know that I was in labor, but that nothing seemed imminent. She was at another birth and her midwife- partner, Erin, was at a conference. She said I should call her when things started picking up.

At that point, I began to fill the birth tub, which was set up in the extra bedroom. I was anxious to see how it would feel. I spent the next hour filling the tub and trying to watch "Saving Grace" on netflix.  As with the birth of Josias, I couldn't really do anything like watch a TV program or read a book while I was having contractions, so I gave up on any kind of diversion and just paced around the house.

I got in the birth tub and it felt like heaven on earth. I couldn't imagine ever getting out. I could still feel the pains of labor, but it all somehow felt dreamy.

By 9:30 am, the contractions were getting stronger, though I could still talk through them. I was also getting hot, so I detubbed to open a window and called Mairi to tell her she needed to start thinking about coming.

Birth
The instant I hung up, my water broke. In the  blink of an eye I had moved through transition into the second stage of  labor (aka pushing the baby out).  I cannonballed (not really!) back into the tub, and frantically dialed Mairi, which took at least five attempts to get right. I told her she needed to come immediately. I also called Danny and told him to come.

I was alone in the house, in the tub and all of the sudden the baby was coming NOW. With Josias this part of labor had lasted for hour upon endless hour, so I never imagined the baby would start coming so quickly.

How did I feel? I wasn't worried. I wasn't scared. I was just there. I was experiencing the labor and knowing that it was all going to unfold as it should. Very zen, very yogic of me, no? Well, yes, in fact it was. 

There are only two times in my life when I have felt like this - like there is nothing else to do, nothing else to think about, and I could just be. I could just be there in the moment, I could experience everything as it was happening, and I didn't have a lick of control over how things would progress, nor how they would end. And, I was okay with that. Those two times were called child birth.

Mairi told me to stay on the phone with her. Fortunately, the other birth she was at was not far from my house. She jumped in her Smart Car and like a bizarro-world police detective in one of those 70's cop shows, she was rushing to the scene of the crime. I can still visualize her barrel-assing through the streets of DC like a bat out of hell. 

On the phone I told her I had to push. I had no choice. Mother Nature was in control. Mairi told me not to push, but to breathe like I was blowing out birthday candles. She told me she was worried about me having a water birth unassisted and that I should get out of the tub. I let her know, in no uncertain terms, there was no way on God's green earth I was getting out the tub. 

The urge to push was so strong, that I didn't think I'd be able to do the, "pretend you're blowing out a birthday candle" bit any longer. Danny arrived and was now on the phone with Mairi. Finally, finally, Mairi arrived and gave me the all clear to push. I started to protest that pain was agonizing, and I recall Mairi saying,"push a few times and you will have instantaneous relief."

Although everything was happening at lightening speed, I could feel all the things the baby was doing. He was in a perfect position. With the first push, I felt him peep out and then retreat back in.  The ring of fire had been ignited and the pain was intense. But as each contraction faded, so did the pain. I would rest for a minute and then with a vice-grip on Danny's hand, I would scream that the contraction was coming. Danny had been rendered mute. He appeared more than a little stunned at the speed with which the festivities were progressing.

With the second contraction, his head came out and I could feel each distinct, perfect body part emerge - the head, and the neck. Another reprieve and then Mairi told me one more push and we'd make short work of it.

The final hurrah. I felt the shoulders, the torso, and then, as Danny said, the rest came out like butter.  As he emerged, Erin had arrived. I caught the baby with my own two hands, and Mairi placed him on my chest. He started to squawk as soon as he came out of the water. From the time the first midwife arrived to the time he rocketed out was approximately four minutes.

I am unable to find words to describe the elation I experienced. I felt the Divine alive within me and around me. It felt electric.

Shiloh
My first words were, "Hi Sweetheart, oh, baby, you came out soooo fast." Then, "He looks just like Josias," and "Oh, you're soooo small." (Point of fact, at nearly ten pounds, he was not SO small.)

I remember each moment as though I am still in the midst of it. After Shiloh was born, we all set about the tasks at hand: get Mama out of the tub, make Mama and Shiloh comfortable, get the afterbirth out, etc. Within the hour, Shiloh began to breastfeed like a champ, Josias came to meet his brother, Danny and Josias cut the cord and they emptied the birth tub.

That, my friends, is the long version of what happened that day. 

The Cliff Notes version is: my home water birth was DIVINE.

Have you experienced the Divine?

Photo credits: author

At eight months pregnant, it's slow goin'

I like being active. It makes me feel good and reduces stress. Since I had my son, two and a half years ago, it has been a challenge to fit in both my daily power walks and yoga. So, I had to scale back and usually did one or the other. Not ideal for me, but I did what I could and mostly was happy with it.

Once I was pregnant with my second, I knew I had to stay active. I gain a lot (a lot!) of weight while I'm pregnant and the two things that ease the aches and pains that go along with that are power walking and yoga. So, when I'm pregnant, walking and yoga are no longer merely nice activities that I would like to fit it; they become absolute necessities.

My family moved back to the city from the suburbs this year and that created the perfect opportunity for me to get my walk in, regularly. Everyday, I walk 2.5 miles to work.

This week I am eight months pregnant and as I made my way to work, I realized that I was walking much more slowly than usual. On Monday, I thought it was just because I was having one of those VERY pregnant days. On Tuesday, I had to take stock and realize that as I become more and more pregnant, I am going to have to make accommodations for the baby growing within. 

So, by Wednesday, I had to adjust my plans a bit. My body and my baby are telling me that things are changing.  It's time to slow down and focus on what baby needs to feel good inside my body. At this point, baby is pretty much the boss. What he says goes.

I'm still walking to work, and I am still in powerful exercise mode, it's just slower. I need to leave the house a bit earlier and I need to be flexible. If, halfway through my walk, it doesn't feel good anymore, I may need to slow it down to a crawl. I may even need to stop and take a rest on a bench, something I wouldn't normally consider.

How long will I keep walking to work? With my last pregnancy, I was able to exercise right up until the night before Josias' birth. Since I know it keeps me healthy and feeling good, I hope that can happen with this baby. If, for some reason, it doesn't, though, we'll figure something else out. And then, before I know it, I won't be pregnant anymore and I'll be looking for ways to fit in exercise and yoga with two kids!

How have you had to change your exercise schedule to accommodate life changes?

My "home" yoga practice during pregnancy

I am almost eight months pregnant. As with my previous pregnancy, yoga is a central part of taking care of myself and the baby I am creating. A lot has changed since my last pregnancy, though, and so has my yoga practice. 

The biggest difference with this pregnancy is that I am not only nurturing the life growing inside of me, I am also nurturing the life that we created almost two and a half years ago. I have precious little time to focus on taking care of myself when I am trying to keep up with a toddler.

I simply don't have time to practice yoga when I am home with Josias. I know however, that I MUST practice yoga. So, yet again, I made a change in how, when and where I practice. One of the things I loved about my home yoga practice was the silence and the stillness. It was the only place that I found the kind of space where I could slow down, reflect and try to connect with my True Self.

Even though that is what I loved most about my home practice, in order to keep practicing, I had to give that part up. My new "home" practice is at the gym located in the basement of my office building. About 3 times a week, during my lunch break, I head down there for a twenty to thirty minute practice.

The gym is not set up for yoga. It is set up for sweaty runners and weight lifters who like to watch obnoxious television programs while they are exercising. Great for them, not ideal for yoga.

My alternative, however, is no yoga. So, I decided to try to be flexible with what it means to practice yoga and what I hope to get out of it. With my new practice, I do not experience the silence and stillness that I once enjoyed. I do experience the beauty of opening up my shoulders and hips; gently bending and twisting my back; and gratitude for feeling good in my current body, which happens to be rather large and cumbersome.

What I know now is that my home yoga practice will always change. Nothing stays the same, but if I can ride the tide of change, adjust my expectations and go with the flow, it will always be possible to feel the peace and gratitude that comes with my yoga practice. Namaste. Thank you.

How has your home yoga practice changed over time?